Why the South is Always More Important By Pius Adesanmi

Still on the lighter side of Reuben Abati's ordeal, a friend wrote to ask me why Nigerian men of power are so sensitive to the slightest hint of a question mark on their abilities in the other room.

It is true that Nigerian men of power do not take kindly to hints of underemployment or total unemployability in the southern geopolitical region of the male anatomy. That is partly because male virility is a metaphor for power and politics. Go and read Sembene Ousmane's Xala and see the katakata that male impotence can cause in politics.

That is why women in politics suffer so much misogyny and condescension from ignorant men equating life in the political sphere with the regularity and longevity of their stiffness.

However, it is a mistake to limit this to Nigeria or Africa. It is a universal feature of patriarchy. That is why a self-respecting French politician will not joke with his deuxieme bureau. From time to time, a mistress must deputize for his wife in a cozy apartment in Paris to remind him of his political virility. What do you think Dominique Strauss-Khan was doing in that hotel room? His cultural practices of entitled virility as a political man at home followed him to New York. And destroyed him.

The Americans are no different. There is a reason that being able to prove the enormous size of his hands has become more important for Donald Trump than being a billionaire. Like his political kinsmen in Abuja, he is keen to prove that there are no performance issues in his own Deep South of the United States.

The South is no joking matter.

What must have made our friends in Abuja so mad is that they had even overlooked Abati's share of the Dasuki ATM because he stole a paltry 50 million.

 By Nigerian standards, that qualifies as an omoluabi level of responsible looting. Folks were going to let you enjoy your own omoluabi looting while going after only those who did wobia looting but you had to go and call the south into question. Alaseju!